How Being a Mother Is Like Being a Missionary

Motherhood is a lot like missionary work.

I remember very distinctly that moment I realized this when I was a missionary in Spain.  I was writing my dad a birthday card and reviewing in my mind all that he had done for me.  In that moment it hit me:  everything I was doing as a missionary my parents had done for me.  They were my missionaries, I was their convert.  This may seem pretty obvious, but this realization had a profound impact on both my perspective of missionary work and motherhood.  It made it much easier for me to end my calling as a missionary, knowing I would someday return to the same work.  Only instead of the title of Hermana I would have the title of Mother. 

I've only been a mother for 2+ years, and it's been a crazy ride. Recently motherhood has become much more challenging with a mobile baby and a semi-potty trained toddler.  In these challenges I keep being reminded of my mission.  So, for fun I wanted to write a list of some of the similarities between missionary work and motherhood.  

1.  You have no idea what you're getting yourself into.

I had several friends try to warn me before my mission that it would be really hard.  I remember thinking to myself, "Of course it will be hard!  But I can totally do it."  Yes, I did survive that 1.5 years.  I even loved it.  But boy, it was WAY more difficult than I ever expected.  There is really no way to understand the challenges and intensity of being a full time missionary until you have been there yourself.  Once I returned home, I tried describing this to my friends but there's no way they could understand unless they had been a missionary.

The same thing happened with motherhood.  I have waited my whole life to be a mom.  In 1st grade my teacher gave us an assignment to draw a picture of what we wanted to be when we grew up.  Fellow classmates drew firemen, singers, doctors, vets, etc.  What did I draw?  A mom holding a baby and the hand of a child.  Motherhood has been on my radar since then.  Nurturing is in my nature, but that does not mean I was prepared for all the craziness motherhood brings. I see new mommies pregnant with their first and my heart goes out to them.  I know they will feel joy like they've never known, but I also know they will be taken to the brink of insanity.  From what I know, it happens to every mom.  There really isn't any way to understand that dichotomy until you have been their yourself. 

2.  You're never alone.

 I actually enjoyed this part of my mission.  I LOVED my companions and having a buddy with me always.  Because I'm an extrovert I thrive on being with others.  I'm sure this was a lot more challenging for some of my introverted companions who were stuck with me all day.  Coming home from my mission I definitely experienced a sense of loss when I no longer had that trusted companion at my side.

In motherhood this idea applies mostly to stay at home moms with young children, which is where I am right now. Everywhere I go my kids go, too. This was fun as a missionary, but is pretty challenging as a mom.

3.  There is no vacation.

Missionaries go 1.5-2 years without a single evening to relax. Yes, they have a weekly preparation day, but at least for me there wasn't much relaxing going on during P-day.  Plus, by 6 pm that evening I was back to work.  That means that every night for 1.5 years I was working.  EVERY NIGHT.  

Yes, it is possible for parents to get away for a vacation without children.  I really look forward to that day.  During the first year of life, because I've breastfed both my kids, that's just not a possibility.  It's been much harder to get away without the kids than I ever expected. 

4. There is a great weight of responsibility.

Before my mission I was a college student at BYU, and I was only responsible for myself.  Then all of a sudden I was set apart to be a representative of Jesus Christ and my life's purpose completely changed. I, along with my companion, became responsible for teaching the gospel to ALL the individuals that lived within my area.  That's a lot of people, and when it comes to saving souls, that's a big responsibility.  

When you become a parent you are entrusted to keep a tiny, helpless person alive.  It's really not as easy as you would think.  And then the child grows and you become responsible for not only keeping them alive, but also for teaching them and helping them develop into responsible, independent individuals.  With my oldest, Rocky, I'm realizing what I teach him now is going to directly influence his success in life.  Yikes, that's a lot of responsibility!  And it's a lot harder than I was expecting it to be.

5.  Comparison and self doubt will debilitate you.

Recently social media has been buzzing about ending the "mommy wars".  The general idea is that moms compare themselves and judge one another way too much. I think this is a natural tendency in most women.  I definitely haven't heard anything about ending the "daddy wars".  The first time I recognized this weakness was as a missionary.  A companion of mine once told me that the greatest challenge a sister missionary will face is comparing herself to other missionaries. Looking back I can see that I was less successful as a missionary when I was most concerns about measuring up to the success of other missionaries.  It wasn't until I let go of those thoughts that I finally saw myself succeed.  

6.  Your greatest strengths and weaknesses become magnified.

Being a missionary or a mom is like holding up a magnifying mirror to your soul. Because you are stretched to your limits you suddenly see strengths and weaknesses you never knew you had. It can be incredibly rewarding to see the specific talents God's given you and very eye opening to see weaknesses you never knew you had.  

7.  You love more intensely than you ever thought you could.

This very much applies to both missionaries and moms.

8. You get used to the hearing "no".

Being rejected almost all day was very hard to deal with at the beginning of my mission.  I was so frustrated people wouldn't give me an opportunity to explain myself and share my message.  However, with time this rejection just became a normal part of missionary life.  

Any mother of a toddler can really relate to this.  You know they need a nap, but they refuse.  You know their body could really use a good solid meal, but they won't eat.  You know jumping on top of the table is a safety hazard and you ask them to get down, but they do it anyway.  After the initial frustration it just becomes a normal part of life.

9.  You feel closer to the Savior than you ever have before.

Being rejected is pretty difficult, but I remember in that moment of having a door slammed in my face or being spit on that I was not alone.  The Savior experienced that same rejection and I know he's with His missionaries when they have to endure rejection for Him.  You also get the privilege of feeling a degree of the Savior's joy when someone decides to accept the gospel and repent.  

My heart completely broke when I lost my first baby at 17 weeks.  During the delivery I remember feeling a closeness to the Savior that I had never experienced before.  Every mother experiences heartache.  Every mother struggles.  I know Jesus Christ is there to strengthen his mothers because their work is His work.  

10.  Once a missionary, always a missionary.  Once a mom, always a mom.

It's been about 6 years since I've been home from my mission there are still certain hymns that I know better in Spanish than in English.  When I'm teaching a lesson my mind instinctively goes to chapter 10 of Preach My Gospel to prepare.  I use the commitment strategy frequently.  In school I once did a research project which involved stopping random strangers to do interviews.  This was a piece of cake.  

I've observed that a mother doesn't stop mothering when her last child moves out.  It becomes a part of who she is.  

Being a mom and being a missionary have changed who I am forever.  

I'd love to hear if you can think of any other connections between motherhood and missionary work!